1. |
Ten Feet Tall
01:58
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First the sky:
its pale night eyes,
the city light like
a sheet drawn tight
over a fire fired
into your eyes—
the constant constant.
It’s so nice, and
you make me feel ten feet tall.
Then it’s: Try this.
Try this. You’ll like it.
Then the taste: held
my hand in your hand.
I like it. I like it.
Goddammit, I like it.
A riverbed filled:
I’m not surprised, still
you make me feel ten feet tall.
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2. |
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I will bury myself in you.
I will bury my heart in you.
I will bury my sins in you.
I will bury myself in you no more.
I will bury myself in you.
I will bury my hope in you.
I will bury my shame in you.
I will bury myself in you no more.
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3. |
Falling Through
02:01
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The second storm was coming ‘round
like a fire escape you were bleeding out.
I asked you to come inside.
You asked me, “Why?”
The last call heard me out
to fill my cup like a fire found.
Safest place above you now.
Rain water filling up my mouth.
But this is how these things play out.
So, don’t let it get you down.
Now, you built your own cross
to bury what you’d lost.
Your embers calmed me down—
last words still ringing loud.
As long as I’d known you,
you were always falling through.
But the trees were all below
shaking like me, slow.
But this is how these things play out.
So, don’t let it get you down.
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4. |
Long Time
02:16
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Now I gotta do
what I came here to do.
Your face dark,
eyes I could look through.
Nothing felt safe
on the corner of here.
My conscious gone,
so far away from fear.
Here is where
I lay myself bare.
Alone in my room,
I’ll disappear.
Now I gotta go
down the only path I’ve known.
It’s not the “straight and narrow,”
and I’m sorry, you know.
I tried it Your way,
and it made me feel worse.
Before I can come back,
I gotta take care of me first.
Here is where
I lay myself bare.
Alone in my room,
I’ll disappear.
It takes a long time to die alone.
It takes too long to die alone.
It takes a long time to die alone.
It takes too long to die.
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5. |
Not Yet
02:37
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When I awoke from my daydream,
it had started snowing.
I walked outside into the soft glow,
watched twilight blur slow.
Was this real, or in my head?
I’m not sure yet.
When I awoke from the snowstorm,
I was standing in the ocean.
The salty spray on my skin.
The undertow begins.
Was this real, or in my head?
I’m not sure yet.
When I sank underwater,
I found myself back under the covers.
She had left, her scent remained.
I would never be the same.
Was she real, or in my head?
I’m not sure yet.
No, not yet.
Was this real, or in my head?
I’m not sure yet.
No, not yet.
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6. |
This Is How
02:16
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This is how I met you:
the back seat of your brother’s car,
your dark hair, the leather.
You were smoking—
and I liked that.
This is how I fell for you:
the broken glass, my panic attacks.
You held my hand. (It eased the pain.)
But you said, “Get the hell out of the rain.”
This is how I needed you:
the dark spin unwinds again,
screaming your name into my toilet,
your voice on the receiver.
This is how I met you:
this is how I fell for you:
this is how I needed you:
this is how I lost you.
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7. |
Fault
01:51
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So, I’m sick of my own shit
that I can’t seem to be done with.
It’s my own fault, my own fault, my own fault:
all the sad poems that I can’t finish.
So, I need to say,
that as of today, I’m throwing you away.
‘Cause you were my favorite sin,
but here is your end.
Oh, no. I know.
You can’t even admit
that some of my flaws I inherit.
Your own faults, your own faults, your own faults
that you taught me to begin with.
So, then you said,
“Will, this, this is all in your head.”
But it’s not this time,
‘cause our neuroses, well, they align.
Oh, no. I know.
Goddamn, it’s about time.
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8. |
I Can't Think That
02:12
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It comes to me in threes:
I saw your sweet vision between my knees.
I tried to hold you there, for me.
But as always, you slip, you slip from me.
Oh, no, I can’t think that anymore.
Then, like a tree, grows my disease.
I’d sell it to you for next to nothing.
I’d give it to you for almost anything.
Then, the spiral in me, in me, in me.
Oh, no, I can’t think that anymore.
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9. |
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When I feel all away,
I go to my past love.
She says she likes my new haircut—
it makes me look older.
When I felt too close,
I decided to run away.
The safest thing I could’ve done
was return to your face.
And now it’s time
to pack up, hit the road.
But I don’t want to leave.
Now I keep you a secret
like a basket of rotting fruit.
Your name on my tongue
was too sweet for my taste.
When I felt your hand,
I withdrew again.
It was all I'd learned to do.
(I learned it from you.)
And now it’s time
to pack up, hit the road.
But I don’t want to leave.
This is your history book.
I’ve changed all the dates.
I made you the hero
‘cause, yeah, I needed that, too.
I stayed at your new place
(the one with the pretty curtains).
The light flowed in like soft rain.
I left before it took me, too.
And now it’s time
to pack up, hit the road.
But I never wanted to leave.
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William Fargason Sparks Glencoe, Maryland
I'm from Maryland.
I like to write. Sometimes I like to sing what I write. These are those sometimes.
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